The Fall of Rome (Act III)

You know, this blog has really sucked something awful lately. Really. No, no, don't be nice, don't try to placate me. Be honest, people. It really is shit lately. I know. I know.

So this weekend I decided to take some time out of my schedule to really think about things... to contemplate, if you will, on when this little blog that could really started to, well, couldn't. And after several beers and a misguided porn site sign-up (in my defense, I was three sheets to the wind, people. A woman sucking off a dog seemed kinda hot at the time, okay? God, let it go already), I didn't really come to any conclusions. In fact, I was more confused than when I began. But in retrospect I think my confusion had more to do with the porn than with the thinking about the blog. Really. I have so many questions, so few answers.

Anyway, in my attempt to understand the error of my blog ways, I decided that it might be helpful to research some very popular blogs and dissect what makes them popular. Maybe then I could replicate their blog goodness for my own purposes. And by "replicate their blog goodness" of course I mean "steal their ideas and pass them off as my own."

Let's take a look at some popular blogs, shall we?

The Pop Eye - Wow. What a blog. Who writes this thing? Has all kinds of cool monthly features, weekly features, hilarious commentary on pop culture and celebrities and music. I bet it takes a lot of work to keep this blog up!

save your generation - Holy bloggariffic batman! Someone named Pistols at Dawn updates this blog every day of the week! EVERY DAY! Can you believe that? That's nuts, people. Nuts. And it's not, like, memes or lists of stuff or cute pictures of pets, it's original writing. Did you hear that? He writes something new every single day.

Bridget Jones Has Nothing On Me - The ongoing soap opera that is Miss Catherinette Singleton's life! Has all kinds of juicy day-after stories and a truly funny weekly feature "Just the Tip Tuesday," which, as the name states, is a weekly tribute to particularly delicious menfolk whom Catherinette would graciously allow to "stick the tip in." This blog is both fun and funny, and you feel like you're right along Catherinette's side in her ever exciting single-gal life!


There are a lot of other amazing blogs, too. I could go on and on with this all day, but I don't think I need to. I think I understand now! I think I get it. I have found the common denominator! Yep. You see, in all of those wonderful, popular blogs the author is employing such things as "care" and "effort." Also making appearances were tools such as "wit" and "complete sentences."

In other words, try as I might to replicate these other bloggers' success, it would take things like "giving a shit" and "not being so goddamned lazy," two areas in which we all know I'm a humongous failure. So, instead, please keep enjoying all those other blogs. And stop complaining mine isn't as good. Asshole.